3, 2, 1...

So many basic functions of our lives, even vital ones, we take for granted.

I have tried to imagine what it would be like to wake in the morning and be unable to see my surroundings clearly. This, I know, is an impossibility for me, because I have been blessed with the gift of uncorrected vision.

This, however, has been Mila's reality every day of her life. Of course I know that, as young as she is, it is questionable what she would have been able to see up to this point. Still, it is hard to imagine what she must have felt as we slid the glasses around her tiny head and down over her eyes for the first time. She let out squeals of what seemed to be joy, wonderment, relief. As anyone that has worn glasses would know better than me, the vision around the edges of those lenses is far from perfect and they are prone to slide of the nose's tip.

Suffice it to say that Mila's journey towards learning to see has been chock full of challenges, albeit unbeknownst to her.

This past Monday marked another triumph in the tiny life span of our daughter. We took the, now, short trip over to see Dr. Freedman at the Duke Eye Center. This time Mila would make yet another doctor for something unfathomable for most, she was to be fitted for contact lenses!

Hard to describe is the understatement of the year for the process that it took to get those first lenses in her eyes. The Ophthalmologist's assistant dug her fingernails in and separated the eyelids a mere arm's length from my face giving me the best/worst view in the house of what little Mila was going through. Of course she cried, who wouldn't, it gave me flashbacks to scenes from "A Clockwork Orange", and these were just for testing purposes the doctor told us.

Next we went over to see the good doctor and, in line with our hopes and expectations, Mila's eyes were looking good and she was improving in her tracking of objects. A thumbs up from Dr. Freedman and we were back on our way to get the right lenses put into Mila's eyes. This time, Priscilla's small fingers would do the work to get them in. I was nervous, but if she was it never showed.

To our surprise, and the ophthalmological assistant's amazement Mila didn't blink, didn't squirm, didn't cry or move and inch when her mother's hands deftly inserted the delicate material into her eyes.

There is a trust inherent in the relationship between infant and Mother that no one outside of that relationship could ever understand. It is as if Mila knows instinctively that Priscilla would never hurt her. Outside of the bond that is formed during the nine month pregnancy, it seems that there is a closeness and comfort that only mother can provide and nothing that mother does is questioned (at least for now...more to come on that subject once we hit age 13)

We have come home and realized, slowly, that those little glasses that we have come to love, are now an unnecessary relief. As strange as it may seem to anyone else, I miss them. I miss seeing her eyes magnified to a point where her expressions were instantaneously recognizable, I miss that unique look that my baby would give me through those convex lenses. We are slowly coming to know her real face, the real size of her eyes, the real length of her incredible eye lashes. All of this is new, just as it was when she was born.

The most comforting thought, for me, is that now she no longer has that moment of dull,potentially confusing blurriness at the beginning and end of her days. For now, that is enough and I am content.

The contacts, as I am sure most of you are wondering, will stay in for 7 days and 6 nights, be taken out for cleaning overnight and then go back in in the morning. The doctor said that one pair should last for 3 to 6 months and then we will need to replace them.

Thank you for keeping up with us. The days have been long at work and caring for Mila for all of us. We will continue to post here and hope that all of you are well. Thank you again for all of the support and well wishes, we would not be where we are without them.

T, P, & M